Controling People in MY Life

After being around my family for a week, I know see how controlling that  some of them are. The most annoying is my sister. She makes her opinion known, and doesn't let me think. I came over there to talk with my father but, that never happened due to the fact that I forgot about all of the issues. But looking back my sister took after my mother, and I took after my father. My mother is aggressive in her opinions but is starting to realize some of the things that she does. My father is passive-aggressive, he can be aggressive when he needs to be. Both are very religious.

I want to believe that nothing is wrong, but even there the TV was on for most of the day, I spent time away from everyone to get away from all of they happy-feelly movies that just got on my nerves. But I was passive about how I lived there. There is more to life out there besides the episodes and movies that are on constantly. I just have to find a way to be away from the TV.

On the bright side my room has a bit left clutter and it's looking more open... except for the last few piles of papers to go through and find a good system to get around the clutter. Which takes work.

Everything in life requires WORK. and that's the fact that as a teenager that I just didn't want to hear, and wanted to run from. Now today, I wish that I can get pass that and on to seeing that my dreams are within reach, with work and patience.

With this new semester I hope to get away from my sister, and actually study and improve upon things that matter the most to me. Besides Life is work, which requires effort.

Active lifestyle

I've believed that I was good enough without putting in the effort. Today I begin to change that thought process. There is so much more I can do but I have to decrease some activities and increase others. Also choose what is most important and useful for me, and what I want to do in life. This all seems like a big task.

First item.... sleep and get up on time.

Not a good day

I had to perform on piano... that was harder with my mind going crazy. Between the finals and my mind state and not only that but I was in a group a few days ago, we were asked to write a letter to our addiction(s). I started to list things out.... then we were asked to read the letters. I couldn't read it. Writing the letter was hard enough. The fact that I couldn't has bugged me.
I had a dream that someone found my letter and read it. I've felt anxious and just wanting to run and hide. But instead I had to play piano. Honestly, I still want to run.... or talk with someone trustworthy that I can really talk to and get advice. This time of year is a little hard. Due to being hospitalized for the first time 5 years ago, in 6 days from now.