He Restorth My Soul

I was reading this book and came to a part that I wanted to share about.

Goals

I have set countless goals that say this....
"I will remain clean for one month" Does this actually happen???!! NO

It has been pointed out that I need to change my goals to going to meetings, reading addiction books, making phone calls. This particular book goes through what I need to do.

I need to use affirmations! To help to reprogram my brain away from lust.

I'm doing well on self care except for reading the scriptures.... oops

I need to set boundaries for my addiction but I need help with those so I will turn to others to find out what could work for me.

I found some phone meetings that I can do and I am going to try to speak up and get to know people. But I'm scared. It's something to surrender to God. I am imperfect! And in need of others help and support. It's time to let go of lust.

Day four

I missed a day... oops. I got really busy and ran out of time. But the good things is the fact that I stayed focused, but I failed to get a few things done yesterday... oops. I feel a bit out of place today and a bit out of focus....then I thought well maybe it would help if I sat down and blogged a bit...

But my focus is everywhere!!!! Maybe its the music.... so I'll change the music from hip hop to instrumental.... with a commercial... Grrrrrrr

I did a 40 minute workout today and ran for 1 minute intervals... I'm super excited!!!

Life is going to get super busy and I wonder how I'll have time for myself.... I'm really concerned about the increased hours but really excited to pick peoples' brains... I have an opportunity to shadow a few in my new field and ask them questions about what they are doing and such. Its going to be exciting. Oh well Time to move on to reading some material on addiction... where to start??

I was planning on starting with Addiction Recovery Program book but, I already know that God will bring me back to spiritual health, if I ask for His help and overcome my pride. Today will be a bit different... I'll read from He Restorth My Soul...

I still don't feel like I can pray. Why is that?? I feel that no one is listening, yet its' God's way of connecting and building a relationship...I am surrounded by books and I'm not sure what I need to do... I have three classes to complete in 90 days and the days are counting down but my focus today is not good... What do I do... I feel like He is upset at me, is it true or is it just me thinking that I haven't forgiven myself yet for the acts that have brought me to this point... Which is it??

Since I don't know, I'll think about it and just continue on...

God, I commit myself to one more day of sexual sobriety. No sex with myself or anyone else other than my spouse, no pornography or anything like it, from now until this same time tomorrow. I surrender my character defects and shortcomings to become a better individual, who can better manage life. I surrender today laziness, I will stay busy for this day, as I know that thou would have me do. Staying busy is the key to helping me in my sexual sobriety. Thank you

Heavenly Father, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me every single character defect which stands in my way of my usefulness to You and my fellow beings. Grand me strength as I go out from here, to do Your bidding.

Day Two

I got an opportunity to develop my career!!! I'm so excited!!!

That's the good news, and I get over 40 hours for a few weeks... So that means getting up earlier to get things done. I think... still not sure yet.

Things are falling into place. Now I take another step into recovery this morning. I again enter into another contract with the God of my understanding.

God, I commit myself to one more day of sexual sobriety. No sex with myself or anyone else, no pornography or anything like it, form now until this same time tomorrow.

I have so much to do in 90 days.. well 87 days now, I have to complete all three classes and still maintain great quality in everything that I do. I must still include doing this everyday to aid me in my recovery from addiction.