Post Midterms

The semester is now half way over, and with lots of headaches.... For five weeks now I have had a headache everyday except for 4 days. Which doesn't help when going to college, and doesn't help the mood issues. Which I haven't told to many about that side of it. I'm in constant physical pain, and sometimes I just want to say, I'm done, I can't handle the pain... physical or mental. 

Oh and the headaches also turn into Atypical Migraines, with psychotic type symptoms. Not sure what to do, but hopefully I'll know something soon, or know who to turn to. 

And then there are my classes, I'm trying to stay as busy as I can, and get better grades. It's hard since the headaches take a lot of strength to get through the day, and music is even worse... Can the headaches just go away... soon??

What more can I do???

I'm going to school, so I have lots of stress there. That's the only thing that's new.... and yet mentally things are going out of control... I just don't know what else I can do. I have very few people to talk to, Few that I feel actually safe talking to. I'm out of ideas, who out there can I trust.... that wont tell anyone else that could get me in trouble, or who would come to me if there was some sort of issue.... All I want to do is si and then scream. Or do something that could be noticed... oh wait that would land me in a place I don't want to be.... I really hate my life. And if you know me personally, it would be a good time to start talking to me... It may just help, to get all of this out of my mouth instead of through my hands. How much longer can I take this, this time?

First weekend of the Fall 2012 Semester

Happy Labor Day, everyone. All it means is a day without classes, and lots of study.


But before that day, comes today. I can't seem to want to stay around people.... which is a little concerning...  I want to just be alone, but I don't want to study. Which is slightly frustrating. What else can I do if I don't want to study? So I try and blog, and get things out, but not towards what I should be doing. (insert scream here)