Last Few Months

Last few months have been Great...

Total sarcasm..

To be serious the last month has been a gigantic pain!!

In December I got a Job... Yea. But my actual starting the job on my own wasn't for quite some time. That new job turned into lots of worry and stress and I am only part time.

So my sex addiction has been interesting, I have used 6 times in 2 months, and in the last month its been 2 days. and they happen to be the last two.

I had worked 21 hours in three days and used it as an excuse... But I did make a choice a long before that that I would because I was afraid, afraid of how my parents would react to me taking the sacrament. so therefore it would be better to wait until they adjusted. HA!! That's what the addict believed in me. The truth is I just never really wanted to talk to them about their behavior regarding my fear. So I didn't and that resulted in a slip.

So now I have learned about myself, and when I procrastinate I mess up, slip up, act out, whatever you want to call it!

Am I done with this acting out cycle...??

That's what one of my "sisters" asked me. Am I done with this addiction? Am I done with it ruining my life?? Can I turn it over to someone else? Do I know how to do that.... Well I didn't know how to walk and I saw that done, and mastered that. I had my falls but I mastered walking to the best of my ability. I can do that here with this sex addiction. If I want to act out or get on and watch pornography,  I can simply just do a pleasurable activity or talk it out like the SAA program says. I was going to share where that is in the Green book but I just don't remember the page number.