I find myself getting bored. ...... and not wanting to do much. It just comes with time but its new to me. I need to find a way to make life more inspiring or at least have more to do. I try to read but then with in a few words get bored. I don't like this at all and want to use an old coping skill to get rid of the boredom. .its not helping. Just causing pain... and a bit more shame. Okay so its shame if I get caught. .... oh wait that's guilt. Why can't I escape this yet. I want to play music but it hurts to play..... I need hand strength to do things that I love. And the boredom is becoming more extreme and full of guilt. Then I think of wanting to escape through a bad coping mechanism.
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