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Do not read if you get triggered. But I got to get a few things out.
I was pulled over yesterday which didn't help. I was driving distracted by suicidal thoughts. I almost said hey can you give me a break I am suicidal. But that would have made things a lot worse. Since then I've thought of many methods, and it keeps getting worse. I'm not sure how long I can control my actions. I'm scared of asking for help. I'm scared of telling anyone the truth. I don't want to go back to the hospital and be without my phone. Yes u would be physical safe but not mentally. I've had to take ativan to control my mind. And will have to do it again. Is this the meds or the topic paper I was working on for the week? That's the question, and I don't have an answer.
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