Always making excuses...

I have noticed in others, mainly my sister that she makes excuses to do things. Then yesterday, I was called out on myself making excuses. Here's a list of common excuses that I make within a weeks time.

1) I was on an IEP and 504, that I have a hard time understanding comprehension.
2) Because of that learning disorder I won't achieve enough.
3) I don't want to
4) I can't do that, it's against a "moral code"
5) Feelings hurt, so I make myself hurt
6) Netflix is all I can do, I want to be lazy and not think
7) There's only two rooms
8) Someone is in that room, and hogging all the space
9) They are making excuses, so I can
10) I can't leave my current situation so why leave the job that I like
11) the future is scary, so I'll do nothing
12) I don't want to get up, I want to be lazy

There's probably more but the one that I want to focus on is the first one. Yes I was on an IEP and 504 growing up, but I chose not to read as much as others, I chose to be lazy. It's a personal choice for NOT living life. I was on an IEP from 2nd to 5th grade, and 504 from 6th to 9th grade. Afterwords I was able to not have to go into special education. If I had worked harder, could have overcome this quicker. Now years later, that mindset is still intact, and I want to be rid of this mindset. It is stopping me from achieving more than I ever dreamed, and is fueling my depression and suicidal thinking. I never thought that I would get past having to go into a special room, but guess what, I graduated from College and University and am looking into going on to graduate school. Being on an IEP and 504 made me stronger. and I need to acknowledge that, and move on to bigger and better things.

The future is ready for me to take control. I hate my living situation and now it's time to challenge that. I have to challenge that, by talking to those that have harmed me by what they have said. It's time for a change and that change can only be made my be, by not being lazy.

To improve my comprehension I must read more, work harder to know words and overcome a challenge that has faced me all my life.

Life is hard work, and I have been just taking the easy way out, Now it's time to work for want and overcome my challenges. And make a life that I want to have in this life.