I'm not even suppose to be at work, yet I'm wide awake!!!!!! It's 4:30 am, I have a movie on, and the light dimmed. Yet I'm not fully awake, still tired just needed to be out of my room, away from the smell of Spearmint. In hopes that it would get my headache and decrease the intensity. But I'm still tired, awake but tired.... not the best combination. I may try and sleep out here but for now my mind is still on what do I do with myself. Anxiety is high, triggers are high, and I've already slipped twice in less than 24 hours. I'm not happy. Nothing about this situation makes me happy. I'm turning 27, and still single with no prospects, not too many friends, and I'm not happy. Sleeping is a problem, headaches are daily, and I just don't want to keep living this way. I have enough pills to do it, enough problems anyway, why do I have to keep fighting??? Would I say I'm suicidal.......... yes. Do I trust myself to be alone today? No. Do I have to keep being alone? maybe... can I just get some sleep and stay asleep.... please. Can it be longer than 6 hours?? Please. I just want to sleep....
What's my purpose?? That I just don't know.
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