Another part....

When I have time I'll be posting some notes online, things that I have noticed from research that I am doing... of course the source will be listed.

WARNING: If you are suicidal do NOT read on, close the page!! I take no responsibility for your actions, thoughts, or anything else.



Let me give you a preview....
     Over the last month I have been studying Suicide. Trying to understand myself, through another who actually committed suicide. It's been helpful to me to realize some of the things that are the same between the two of us. When things start to turn around, the depression, the lost feeling, the emptiness, the pain would always return. We know it well if we have struggled and wrestled with suicide. He wrote a 14 page (or there about) suicide note. After reading it, I see a lot of myself in him. Things like, feeling absolutely happy, and then falling into the "pit." Trying to find things that improve our lives but finding nothing. And then going back to suicide... attempting if given the chance. Trying to find the best way to commit suicide.


This may not be what you want to hear, but it's the truth. But we have to keep in mind that among my age group, Suicide is the 3rd leading cause of death in the United States. Suicide does happen, and then questions come up about if the life could be saved. If someone has been struggling for a long time, and has made up their mind, who knows but them if they want to be saved.


I don't mean to offend people, but it's the truth, at least from my perspective.

The return of classes

I'm back in school now, and I've been okay, mentally speaking. I'm taking 16 credits... am I crazy?! Anyway school has been going on for four days,and now with this big gap in my schedule, and talking with people... I just want to be back in my bubble...

And there's another good reason.... I was at work, counting the customers inventory, and then one of their associate's comes up and  said, "Are you using the shelf tags?" and essential, didn't you see the sign.... I'm not an idiot... I just didn't think it was for the socks... I thought it was for the shoes on the top part of the section. She then proceeded to try and "help" me... in other words she got in my way of trying to "fix" the mistake... It turns out, out of 23 spots... only 6 items where out of place.... It didn't warrant a sign like the one that was there... Oh and normally that is the store's fault... not ours... so I told her off, and basically responded very annoyed right back too her...What else could I have done... well I had to get to class so I left right afterwards. It just made me mad to be talked to like that.

The question on my mind is simple... will the return of anxious, suicidal me come back this semester? Or will I have a semester where my grades are good, and I feel very good.... Am I taking to much on??

So many questions.... and no answers to them...