Either this week will be good for me financially or mentally it will be draining.... Which will it be??
Things I have done today.....
Got up, took meds on time, worked out for 45 minutes, eat
Other than that, I'm writing which is a good thing, but at the same time I wonder if I'll do much.....Reasons why I wonder this are this.... I like Netflix and that's what's one constantly, 2, I have had time to practice my various instruments and today I just haven't done so, I've found reasons to not practice.
Is there more reasons?? mmmmm... that I"m not sure about....
Monday, March 26, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Don't give up, just yet.
Don't give up.... on your dreams... on your life... on yourself. Once you give up on yourself, it take s a while to start to give yourself a chance.
I have spent the last 2 months down, and depressed, and suicidal.... feelings that I don't have right now... correction I still feel depressed but it's a normal for me. It's what I have known for the last 6 years. If I had given up, I would not be here.... and I wouldn't have my mind back now.
In the last two months, I have been in the Behavioral Unit... not once... but twice... and through that, I have found myself again. I can study, and recall the information. My grades are improving. I'm getting better....
The minute I let the depressed feelings in, that's the minute that I start to spiral down hill... and it happens quickly for me. And I'm not far from the self harm thoughts. I've struggled, but now I can be a strength to those around me...
Remember, Don't give up, just yet. And this requires doing the little things, i.e. getting up, going to class, being around people, exercise, and writing... The little things help us to remember not to give up.
I won't give up.... I know I'm worth the time and to give up is to say, "God, I just don't care about me, and I must not be worth the time." But the truth is, God does want us to turn to Him, because we are worth the time and effort to fix, and to help us grow.
OH.. I almost forgot.... Happy PI day everyone... 3.14 get it....
I have spent the last 2 months down, and depressed, and suicidal.... feelings that I don't have right now... correction I still feel depressed but it's a normal for me. It's what I have known for the last 6 years. If I had given up, I would not be here.... and I wouldn't have my mind back now.
In the last two months, I have been in the Behavioral Unit... not once... but twice... and through that, I have found myself again. I can study, and recall the information. My grades are improving. I'm getting better....
The minute I let the depressed feelings in, that's the minute that I start to spiral down hill... and it happens quickly for me. And I'm not far from the self harm thoughts. I've struggled, but now I can be a strength to those around me...
Remember, Don't give up, just yet. And this requires doing the little things, i.e. getting up, going to class, being around people, exercise, and writing... The little things help us to remember not to give up.
I won't give up.... I know I'm worth the time and to give up is to say, "God, I just don't care about me, and I must not be worth the time." But the truth is, God does want us to turn to Him, because we are worth the time and effort to fix, and to help us grow.
OH.. I almost forgot.... Happy PI day everyone... 3.14 get it....
Saturday, March 10, 2012
What time is it??
The time seems to fly by me, for most of the week and then things go wrong.... I've had about 2 weeks free of all of the depression symptoms and then they return... How much longer can I take them returning??? I plan the night before of what I want to get done... and then I don't get anything on that list done... I watch Netflix instead.... this is a problem... one that doesn't have a solution yet... must find solution....
Just needed to vent a bit....
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Busy Month
Thanks for hanging in there, and waiting for me to post. But I just haven't had time....
In the last 2 months, I have been in the Behavioral Health Unit twice. And still have been able to stay in College this semester. It's very hard to have been there financially, and hard for those around me. I have experienced people telling me that I can't continue in my college classes, and those telling me I needed help. I have experienced much sadness, despair, disaster, and happiness. I had two STRAIGHT months of feeling suicidal. I have good news, I made it through those two months of suffering. Some may wonder, what made the difference?? Here's what I found.
Writing down things I hope for
Finding Hope, Humility, and Spirituality
Finding Faith in God
Practicing Relaxation Techniques. DAILY!!!!
Talking about the first few months of when the depression started.
Doing things that help to soothe the Soul, and then doing them daily
Forgiving myself of the things that happen during periods of severe depression
Talking with friends about things related to my mental health
Finding people to talk to, about anything, and I mean anything
Writing my thoughts, emotions, and physical state
Being Proactive with my time, cutting down the t.v. shows, and facebook
That's what I have found that helps.... and now I'll still post, but my hope is to share the hope and humility that I found, that could help others (the ones who read this blog). My hope is that I will remain free of suicidal thoughts.
Sending you hope,
Puzz
In the last 2 months, I have been in the Behavioral Health Unit twice. And still have been able to stay in College this semester. It's very hard to have been there financially, and hard for those around me. I have experienced people telling me that I can't continue in my college classes, and those telling me I needed help. I have experienced much sadness, despair, disaster, and happiness. I had two STRAIGHT months of feeling suicidal. I have good news, I made it through those two months of suffering. Some may wonder, what made the difference?? Here's what I found.
Writing down things I hope for
Finding Hope, Humility, and Spirituality
Finding Faith in God
Practicing Relaxation Techniques. DAILY!!!!
Talking about the first few months of when the depression started.
Doing things that help to soothe the Soul, and then doing them daily
Forgiving myself of the things that happen during periods of severe depression
Talking with friends about things related to my mental health
Finding people to talk to, about anything, and I mean anything
Writing my thoughts, emotions, and physical state
Being Proactive with my time, cutting down the t.v. shows, and facebook
That's what I have found that helps.... and now I'll still post, but my hope is to share the hope and humility that I found, that could help others (the ones who read this blog). My hope is that I will remain free of suicidal thoughts.
Sending you hope,
Puzz
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