Late Night

It's almost midnight, and I'm online trying to distract myself with just about anything.... But nothing is really helping, the thoughts are always in the background. My little Devil is just having way to much fun trying to get me to do things that I don't want to do. It's what she wants, not what I want. I just don't know how to help myself, or how anyone else could help me. The question is "What things will help? and What can I do to talk things through?" there are lots more questions, but I think I'm running out of time to answer them, before things start happening... Needless to say, I'm scared. AHHHHH!!!

The Good, The Bad, and Me

I've had a little visit from the Bad, and to explain what I mean by the title of this post, think of Kronck, From Empire's New Groove (Disney). He has an angle on one side and a devil on the other, and he has to be a mediator between the two.... well for me, it's a little different, I have me, being neutral, and then Hillary, which is The Bad, and the third being The Good, with no other name. Last night, Hillary came back and started to argue with me, and wanted to end life. I felt like I was spinning out of control, and ended up crying, and yelling for her to leave. I had a friend come over to just get "all" of me distracted. It's worked so far.

Now, I'm alone again, and all I want is peace from the insanity that I live in. When will something better come around, or a good boyfriend. I'll take whatever is given unless it's the Bad side, in a different form. Please Just let me have some peace today.