Over the last week, I have noticed that I have had a dip in mood and have been sleeping an hour longer or so. That may not seem like much but it is to me. I have so much to do but no desire to do anything!! The lack of motivation is getting to me. I have asked to pick up a few more hours but I find myself wondering if that is what I want to do. And I almost said should... I want to remove the word should from my vocabulary.
In an assignment for my career, I have been asked to handle ambiguity with more skill and finesse. And using could, would be my first attempt to change that portion of myself. I have a lot to change but my mental state is in harm's way.
Another question?
What am I willing to do to get better?
I don't know yet! I know I am letting fear win but that's where I am today. I'm scared and nothing seems to help enough to end that fear. Can things be different? Ah, yes!! DO I want them to be different? I'm not sure. I think so but part of me is not convinced. What will it take to be fully convinced?
