3 weeks ago today I was calling to get the car insurance claim started... Here I am today with still no word. I did call the company and got some movement on it.... an adjuster will be coming out soon.... but it took 3 weeks for them to do this. Was that necessary!! Come on people just communicate!
In a few days I will find out what or if my car can be fixed. At this point I think its totaled.
Then on Thursday I found out some other news. My health insurance has decided to not cover my therapist.... therefore I have to pay for it out of pocket....Or find another way to pay for it.... What a blow!!!! After 5 years of seeing the same office but different therapist. Not to mention this one that I am seeing has experience for my specific addiction, and she is well versed in EMDR.
I hope I can find a way to continue to see her!!!
After I found out, I kinda freaked out a bit... well a lot. I thought about death again and ended up in the hospital. It was a good thing. It got me to a safe place and got me some actual good help. The classes weren't just the same thing that I had heard over and over... it included new things, with real life examples of people that had turned their life around. And learned a bit about self-criticism and self-compassion. That was the best thing that I got out of it. I am a self-critic. and I need to learn how to be more compassionate.
I am very hard on myself and need to take a bit of humility. I am way to proud and it's because of the things that I am doing...... I am an addict!! I need to learn humility. But I honestly don't know how.
I have a lot to learn but first I need to ask for financial help. I need to get over myself and admit that I need help that I can't do it by myself. I'm not earning enough and honestly I am in a world of hurt. I have a lot to overcome but mostly I have a lot to do and lots to figure out.
