Many things are happening. I found out that my optical nerves are inflamed. And the doctors are not sure why. I think it's because of a medication. So, they ran an MRI and found no masses, but they want to do a spinal tap. I'm getting used to the idea of it but I'm still scared. Tonight i have anxiety higher than normal. I have also been suicidal. Honestly I don't know what is med and what is circumstance I'm so confused. I thought writing this out would be helpful but all it does is make me want to cry.
So the last 2 months have been filled with lots of time on my hands. Many days with using sex and relationships to get rid of stress and anxiety. All the more creating more stress and anxiety.
I'm getting to tired yet I don't want to sleep..... Why is that? I want to...... I don't know I'm not yet I am tired. I hope I fall asleep tonight. I hope I can just stay safe. God help me.
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