Promise kept, more Promises made

I said I would be around to blog again, well that promise has been kept.

I've been trying to hide all of the suicidal thoughts from myself, but it's a hard task to accomplish. I've been saying I'm okay, but in all reality, I'm not. I'm not sure what all to do.

I did go to a dual diagnosis group and saw my therapist, and for the check in I said with my eyes looking down that emotionally it has been a roller coaster. Smiling and laughing to suicidal depression. But mainly the negative side.

************Please note that if you are not stable do NOT keep reading.******************

I did sleep for 12 hours which was great and all, but at a cost. Not getting things done. Now what's even worse is I want to start injuring and then take meds to end it all.I can't keep on going like this, I'm not strong enough to do so. I just want to hurt so badly that I'll get out of my head, and away from my brain chemistry and one step closer to having a depression free life.

I am physically safe, but emotionally I am in a world of trouble. What will it take to get be away from my own head. I know I can call people but right now, I'm not in the mood to talk about the thoughts, I just want to escape.

I am physically safe. I know who I can call. I know that they would be ready and willing to help but I just need my space right now.

That being said, I promise to work on my puzzle that I started last night, ONLY if I need a break, or I get my to do list done.

TO DO:
Practice Clarinet
Write and print paper for class
Read and respond to article for Personality class.

If needed then I will also work out as well. If I need a break.