The past two weeks have been more intense in therapy but I know it will be worth the time. The last two days have been full of travel and work, and a lot of talk about other coworkers. I did a little bit of soul searching and found that I need a different job. There is so much talk about others that just makes me uncomfortable. Giving coworkers nicknames is ridiculous. It's no way to treat others, even if it's behind their backs.
Today I was able to put in one application and got some Resume' paper, and researched some places to try.
Then there's the conversation in therapy. I keep thinking about what purpose suicide has, besides escape of the current situation. I don't know that purpose, and it's driving me crazy.
I have another day that I could work but it means giving up the day after to recover from that work night. I am tempted to give it up, that way I can take care of me.
Then in regard to a different job I have to think about my hand and the very little weight that I can lift with it. and if the job has a lot of repetition then is my hand ready?! I've thought of fast food places but my hand isn't ready. What else can I do?
I've thought about fast food, but that doesn't seem to fit right. I've thought about a home aid or developmental disability worker/PSR. I just don't know. What else is there that's easy to get into. I just don't know.
"one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind."
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