Day four

I missed a day... oops. I got really busy and ran out of time. But the good things is the fact that I stayed focused, but I failed to get a few things done yesterday... oops. I feel a bit out of place today and a bit out of focus....then I thought well maybe it would help if I sat down and blogged a bit...

But my focus is everywhere!!!! Maybe its the music.... so I'll change the music from hip hop to instrumental.... with a commercial... Grrrrrrr

I did a 40 minute workout today and ran for 1 minute intervals... I'm super excited!!!

Life is going to get super busy and I wonder how I'll have time for myself.... I'm really concerned about the increased hours but really excited to pick peoples' brains... I have an opportunity to shadow a few in my new field and ask them questions about what they are doing and such. Its going to be exciting. Oh well Time to move on to reading some material on addiction... where to start??

I was planning on starting with Addiction Recovery Program book but, I already know that God will bring me back to spiritual health, if I ask for His help and overcome my pride. Today will be a bit different... I'll read from He Restorth My Soul...

I still don't feel like I can pray. Why is that?? I feel that no one is listening, yet its' God's way of connecting and building a relationship...I am surrounded by books and I'm not sure what I need to do... I have three classes to complete in 90 days and the days are counting down but my focus today is not good... What do I do... I feel like He is upset at me, is it true or is it just me thinking that I haven't forgiven myself yet for the acts that have brought me to this point... Which is it??

Since I don't know, I'll think about it and just continue on...

God, I commit myself to one more day of sexual sobriety. No sex with myself or anyone else other than my spouse, no pornography or anything like it, from now until this same time tomorrow. I surrender my character defects and shortcomings to become a better individual, who can better manage life. I surrender today laziness, I will stay busy for this day, as I know that thou would have me do. Staying busy is the key to helping me in my sexual sobriety. Thank you

Heavenly Father, I am now willing that You should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that You now remove from me every single character defect which stands in my way of my usefulness to You and my fellow beings. Grand me strength as I go out from here, to do Your bidding.