2 weeks

I'm not sure how much of this I can take. I'm not me, I keep remembering past events. I know people say it's in the past but I just don't believe them. The discrimination that happened because of a medication and those around me, just makes it harder to deal with.... none of that past life was my control. I hate this, there's no one to really talk too, and trying to apply myself into music just isn't happening. I can't take this anymore. I just wish there was a way to know that I am not going to be treated like I was in the past, but I just feel like it'll happen again. It was two weeks into the semester that it happened the last time.... then I just watched someone who overdosed on sleeping pills, and was found.... Like I said, that I will be found... either that I have depression, or just found... a little too late. Either way, neither sounds good... I just have to keep on hiding, and try and get things done, and that's just not happening. I need help, I need someone to talk too, that won't do something I wouldn't want.... when will I find that though? When will I have to stop hiding from those around me... why I am I so fearful? Why do I have to deal with this?