Not wanting to.....

Of the list that I mentioned, here's what I have done today

Practice as much as I can given my hand
2 hour informational meeting about organ


That's it...... so now that it's almost 10pm on Saturday night.


I haven't wanted to do much today, and I am beating myself up about it.


I also missed my meds this morning, which has lead to many thoughts...... of unwanted origin.


And then my computer does this weird thing where it blacks out what I've written and my other tools to write the post.


I have this amazing opportunity but feeling the way I feel makes me not want to take this opportunity. Because of the lack of stuff that I got done today. I know I should feel somewhat accomplished by getting two items off my list but it just makes me feel worse.

I should do this, or that.... why does there have to be such a stigma associated with......

Now that it's midnight... I got a bit more done....a small amount but now it's time for bed. I feel like crap. I just don't want to sleep, yet my body is saying that I need to. The only thing that I can think of is just to read a good book, and hope that it helps.