"It's going to happen"

That's the response that I get when I tell my sister that I have had sui thoughts.... and that makes me feel worse. I've tried to ignore it, but how do you ignore something like that. It's almost enough to just to talk, to call a crisis line after she leaves for work. Or if I decide to leave and call without her knowledge. It hurts that I can't share that part of me, that I have to hide the thoughts, and the addiction. Her saying that is hurtful.

I am trying to be strong through this but, it's getting to the point that it's hard. I have walked inside (a dvd), found a box that I was looking for, and will meditate this morning. All things that are good to try and be strong while thoughts are entering my head at rapid speed.

I have 3.5 hours of her home and I plan on talking to her about this, due to the fact that last night after she said it I was in shock, and then half asleep. That's not something that ANYONE ever wants to hear from family.

I can't even really say what went through my mind when she said "It's going to happen" to respond like that is almost like she is cold hearted.... which I know isn't true but it's what it feels like.

I am going to look for a better job, to move out by May. I can't live in this place with her, if she is going to respond like that. When it makes it worse, yes she doesn't have training like I do but who says that to ANYONE!!! I'm hurt, and trying to deal with the pain of possibly lossing my sister over something that she isn't aware of, unless I tell her and actually talk to her. How can things get any better without that support.