Over the past 2 years, my T has been trying to change a thought pattern, without me knowing it was happening. Well now I know. In the last few months it was "Uncomfortable emotion/thought --> Suicidal thinking --> Self injury" He's been working on fixing that second part. In the last 4 weeks I have been trying to decrease self-injury thoughts and actions. Meaning the suicidal thoughts returned. And now it makes sense. To fix that second part, he has been reacting positively to suicide. It sounds back words but it's suppose to help. There's trust there.
I told him that I slipped and that's how the above come out. It's weird now, knowing that its been like this. I thought it was strange but it left a smile on my face when ever I left the office. Now it seems different. Yesterday he brought up the MASH theme song. And played it several times. Which by the end I was a bit annoyed. I didn't want to hear it and be triggered. Then today, I went looking for it. and it's distracted me a bit.
Then again looking on youtube is not a good study skill. Guess I better get back to Competency to testify.
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