Thursday, January 30, 2014

Let it Go..... more thoughts

Over the past week I have felt more energized by this song from Disney's Frozen, called Let it Go, I finally articulated part of what I do for si, but it's still hard for me. My favorite line is "the Perfect Girl is gone" I always thought that I had to be perfect, and that's when things got harder. I've always been told that I have to be perfect, and then I found pain to be something to help control the shame, but it added more shame.

I've been hurt by my family, by hiding si, hiding depression, hiding every negative thought. It doesn't bother me but the withdrawal of those around me has affected my relationships. Because of all the shame, I hide EVERYTHING. This song helps me to just let it go, not caring what people think. I still want to hide but I realize that mental things have caused some problems with those around me.

I keep playing the song hoping that I will be able to just let things go, and not give into any urges. But the storm is all around me. "Conceal don't feel.... I don't care what they are going to say" I just hope that last part can come true for me, that I can trust in myself to be able to see what I can achieve.

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