Day off.

I decided that I would take a day off.... from driving, working, and overall everything. well so far it hasn't worked.... Landed me in some trouble.... level red.....So I started to cook dinner.... even if I don't want to. All I ant is to just simply disappear. I couldn't stand trying to go to church after the announcement of a suicide. All I want to do now is just disappear.... not even finishing dinner.. just let it burn.. only I know I can't do that, since I'm cooking for others as well. I'm in a trouble spot. I know it. Hopefully after dinner I'll use the coping skill of exercise to see if it will help. Or it will drive me closer to level red.