Trouble

Over the last week, I've said that I'm fine but I'm not. I want to appear strong, but that would be a lie. I'm doing all I can but its not good we enough. Yet every thought brings sadness, I can't work, can't practice piano, limited clarinet practice time, not understanding secondary functions, ear training is hard when everything sounds the same. There's more bad then good. I keep switching things from letters, notes on the staff, to concepts. Is there something out there that can stop these thoughts?
                 Who can I turn to tonight?  My doc doesn't have hours tomorrow. ... I need to sleep. ... I need someone to get out of my head, to leave my thoughts,  leave my mind. Will reading help? Will that voice just leave tonight and never return? This must sound weird, but its the truth.