April Fools Lesson.... and all I want to do is just contact my instructor and just cancel the lesson for today.. one I"m not ready yet... and I don't want to say something wrong and end up having public safety transport me to the hospital... okay so I'm once again suicidal... and what makes it worse is if my instructor finds out she will call someone to help get me in to talk with someone... I just don't want that.... I'm trying to focus for class in 15 minutes, but once again it's not working... No one around me knows how much I really want to activate a plan for suicide... I have it, I just keep hanging around others to keep me safe, but the truth is.. I"m not that safe. I'm writing to just try and keep my head in the right direction.
Say by John Mayer comes to mind.... "Say what you need to say"
Honest truth I need to come clean with myself about the past.
And I will, in my own time... I promise to go to class and ace my quiz, and then actively participate on the lecture.
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