I woke up to the sound of my sister getting up. I have been attempting to get up earlier to beat her in, but still give her the time that she demands. She asked me about it on Sunday and that's when behaviorism took over, she started to get up at the same time as me again! I can't take this anymore, I want to be able to get up without her in the bathroom. It happens every morning then when I try to change, she matches me. I can't take it anymore. Its one of those other reasons that makes suicide so tempting. I'm trying to have classical music to distract me, it's not working due to anxiety being higher then it has been. What's a girl to do, if she has to CONFORM to her older sister. I don't want to conform anymore. I know people say suicide isn't the answer but, for me it would make things so much easier then trying to live with a CONTROL freak. I need my own place, this is suffocating. Contract is up in May, I must have enough money to move out, and a good job.
I don't want to conform to anyone, and if that person stops me, then I'm going to Kick them in the butt. I want my own life now, I wish that cloudy feeling would return, it made things easier.
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