I had the unfriendly realization that I'm still depressed. GRRR. I can tell because of addiction. I am addicted the the media entertainment (ie netflix, movies, t.v. shows) and at this point I don't know how to get away so that I can do the things I want but have little desire to do because I'm so down. It's kind of like the double edged sword, if I don't change than I could be risking being suicidal, and if I do change then I could risk the fact that the addictions could be getting worse. Needless to say I'm confused. I don't know what I want, and I know part of it is the depression symptoms getting worse, without my knowledge. What do I do to stay strong, to stay happy?
I think I have found out what I want to talk about today with my counseling session. It scares me to give up something so big, and not know how to replace that time. But it's not only media, its the internet, facebook, and online gaming. That's why it scares me so much, is it's become a big part of me, and I don't know how to replace it.
But I must get back to studying for my Stats Test tomorrow. I must study, and be less distracted.... I hope.
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