I should be studying, but I can't. Focus is very hard right now. I'm trying to just hide myself in the library, but I can't hide from my thoughts. Last night I was able to totally zone out for 2 hours. It felt good to just hide everything from me. I didn't think, and then I had to leave, and the thoughts returned. Much like they are now. A few people around me (irl) know what's going on, but only just a little bit, the amount that I was comfortable with. I am trying to focus, I'm trying to keep my head and to study. That shouldn't be hard, right? WRONG. Keeping my mind focused right now is the worse thing I can try to do, yet I have to. I just have 3 days of studying and taking the finals, but it seems like forever.
I will still keep on exercising daily, since it helps to at least get my mind of things for a bit, and do something for me.
I will keep on trying to study, and if that doesn't happen then I'll try and get things from my head on to the screen or paper.
Other than that, I'm not sure what more I can do. I know what would help, but I'm trying to stay clear of it, but its very hard to do. I'm not sure how much longer I can take of this. I have to do something, at least for the next few days. I have to stay clear of one plan, which is very, very hard. Especially when no one knows about it. (and I mean no one) I know where I should be, but it's a place I can not go to, I have obligations to be here for. Sad, right?
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