I still have a few things to do, but at this time, my mind is not with me. It's on to a different subject, one subject that distracts me more than anything. I need to do something to not let that subject win. Therefore, I am attempting to expel part of the feelings out by writing, the honest truth is it's not working. I want it even more than ever, since I have the perfect plan, that could not be ruined by others. I have opportunity, and that scares the pants off me. I know what I need, and that need is a friend to be there so I'm not alone, at least physically. Yikes, will these thoughts end?????
Few minutes later
Still wanted it, and I'm scared that it will happen. There's only one way to keep from it, which would be not to be near the things that would be used. I have to be strong, it's the only way.
One Lab Later
It's still on my mind, I have gotten a little more done on the things that are keeping me here, instead of being in a place where I'm constantly watched. I know what could come, and I really don't want that. I just want a friend to be there for me. I don't want to be alone tonight after tutoring. I don't want to go home. Where the temptations are all around me.
For now I will listen to music, work on my lab,a nd then workout before going to work. After that, then I'll eat, If things are not improving and getting worse then I'll call a friend and that way I won't be alone. I just hope this works.....
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