Hard Day, Hard Month

After a day of work, a nap, and thinking, It's just been a hard day. I have some LOUD music being played across the hall., and it's just annoying. I just don't know what else I can do. Anxiety level is high, and impacting how I sleep. The nap was good, but didn't help enough. I'll continue to use distractions in hopes that something will change.

To unload a work issue. One of my coworkers, decided to try and count candy... and made a huge deal about me taking the 2700 piece area, saying this isn't protocol... I had already started to count the area... needless to say, I could be quicker, and accurate on the area, and I wanted the accuracy to be there. I've heard of her counting, and didn't want her to count it. Well, she got upset, and then apologized for me getting upset... ? HUH??? This isn't the way it's suppose to be. The right people are suppose to count the correct things, to provide the client with accuracy. NO ONE should complain about an area being counted by another... this just doesn't make sense I would have been glad that someone had done it for me. But no she just had to COMPLAIN about it being not protocol, to me.... and who knows if my boss will find out, but I don't care, If she wants to complain about everything (and she does) then let her. I don't care... Okay now I feel a bit better, but still The simple fact that she apologized for me getting upset, just doesn't make sense. Oh wait, that's just want happens... grrr.

I still don't feel better at all, Still down, Still annoyed, Still wanting something I can't have. I just hate this right now, I just don't know what to do, besides trying to deal with the emotions, and all the thoughts, I'm not sure who could even help, since I'm to stubborn to ask for help, but I am concerned that something is going to happen, and the simple fact of it happening would be one of the only things that would bring this up to the attention of those around me. No one knows, or those that do know, aren't talking... either way, this is my outlet.

Besides all that, for any who are reading, I do have to write one thing, If you are in the position like me, get yourself help, don't be like I am..... Stubborn to ask for help.